People who turned toward their partners in the study responded by engaging the bidder, showing interest and support in the bid.
The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: he’s requesting a response from his wife-a sign of interest or support-hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird. “Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard.
